Monday, October 16, 2006

I've been writing this blog for over a year. I started it to have a free space to simply be me. It hasn't helped. There were so many thoughts I didn't include, opinions I didn't share and views I didn't express. Why? Maybe because I was afraid of being judged based upon them. I rathered be the cute little girl in cyber space as well instead of really being who I am.

So lately writing became a form of acting. I'm a very good actress in real life. But after a while I felt that the blog became a burden like my everyday life where I stopped being me. In a way the blog lost it's main function.

Then this summer came and brought with it all the highs and lowa I could ever imagine. I broke up with my boyfriend, said goodbye to my best friend for God knows how long, I was about to start the last year of my university where I have to make so many life changing decisions. But, I also worked and discovered where I want my career to head, I saw my best friend get married and it was the most amazing night of my life. I was spoiled rotten by my aunt for three weeks where I shopped till I dropped. I met the cutest guy who just didn't stop flirting with me. I discovered a close friend in a guy I considered an acquaintance. I felt loved and admired. I was sexy, not just cute. Three guys wanted to go out with me, I turned them all down because I'm not ready for another relationship now. Did I grow up this summer? No, I just let me be me...

I still have so much to discover and so much to know. Not everything about me will please everybody, but I simply don't care anymore.


Blogger Alina said...

You should always try to be yourself. And don't worry about people judging you, there are some who do it anyway, as your standards of not being judged don't match with theirs. Besides, playing a well rehearsed part is very tiring at times.

Glad to see you back to posting!

6:49 AM  
Anonymous Moghul said...

Man, you must have a head the size of a watermelon "Three guy asked me out turned them all down"

2:51 AM  

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